Thursday, 31 December 2015

My 2015

 So, it's that time of year again. I've consumed my entire weight in quality streets and sprouts (yes I am one of those weird people that loves sprouts) and things almost go into slow motion for a week whilst the merriment still lasts. Its during this week that I always start to prepare myself for the New Year and to try to make some achievable resolutions to help me through the next year and give me something to work towards. The one thing that really helps me to do this is to reflect on the past year, to look at the ups and the downs and to see what it is I am wanting. And so I thought it would be interesting and helpful for me to put a little year long reflection down here.

I began the year in my old home, back in the Wirral welcoming in midnight with the school friends who have spent almost as much time in that house as I had. Last year was the final Christmas and New Years I would spend in that house and I was glad it was just as traditional and special as it had always been. A few days after New Years me and my suitcase toddled off to Paris to visit a friend, I had only been to Paris once before but I soon realised how much I wanted to keep visiting this amazing and vibrant city - there really is no where like it - and also how much I wanted to travel in general.

In February I went back to uni and the first signs that this wasn't right for me began to appear. I found myself spending more and more time writing, baking, taking photos and just generally creating and I started to discover that creative life was what made my heart sing. It was also during this period that I decided, after years of desperately wanting to, that I would start a blog and Life With The Roof Down began to be created. I spent a wonderful Easter week with my now fiancé in his family home up in Scotland enjoying the little things in life that make it good namely adventures in my boyfriends open top vintage car.

After Easter I took the jump and made my blog live. It is definitely one of the best things I have ever done and one of my biggest achievements. Having a blog allowed me to start exploring what I thought was important in life. I began to dream about where I wanted to live, what kind of life I wanted to lead, what kind of person I wanted to be and how I could make a small positive change in the world. I started to become more interested in green living and helping to save our planet, me and my fiancé decided we wanted to live in the countryside as soon as we could afford it and make steps to become more self sufficient and I made the decision silently to myself that I wanted to follow my dream and become a writer. 

The summer was one of the best I've ever had, I spent it having adventures all over the world. I was lucky enough to visit Paris, Madeira, Tubingen, and Keswick but the best part of the summer had to be the 6 weeks I spent adventuring in Fife, Scotland with my boyfriend. It was quite obvious by the
end of the summer that the only place I wanted to live from now on was Scotland.

Summer came to a close and as I had been dreading all summer, university began again. I had been thinking for quite a while that university just wasn't for me but I could see no way out of it and had been so conditioned by my school to think that this was the only path for everyone. I started to become very ill within the first few weeks, I had suffered from anxiety and depression the previous year but after a summer of relaxing I felt much stronger, however during this period I felt the weakest. After a lot of careful thought, consideration and conversations with multiple people I decided it would be best if I left university for the time being. I am so glad I made this decision and I think bar one other major life decision (I'll explain this one in a second) this has been the best thing I have done all year.

After making this decision I found myself feeling oddly courageous and I finally told many of my family and friends of my dreams of being a writer. It was terrifying but liberating at the same time and affirming it to others has helped to affirm it to myself also. I then also felt that I was able to move on with the rest of my life and me and my boyfriend got engaged. We had been talking about getting married for a while and so it wasn't a surprise when he popped the question but it was a beautiful end to a challenging but wonderful year.

I am excited to see what the new year holds. I am currently in search of a job that will allow me to support and sustain myself whilst I write and try to get my work published and so I have a sort of plan but I am also happy to see where the wind blows. As well as working on my novel and some freelance articles I will also be doing lots of exciting things here on this blog and exploring what I really want this space to be. Its strange, although everything is a lot less certain than it was last year I feel much more focused on what I want to achieve this year and in my life. I'm excited to start building a foundation and look forward to sharing that on here with you.

I hope you've all had fantastic Christmas' and I wish you a very happy new year/Hogmanay! 


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